what did I think?

Hey bloggers, it's such a long time I didn't see you, and in the middle of this night, I remember, one of my close friend, even my inspirator told me that one day, I should write down my dreams, because she saw that even I don't believe in myself - even me, myself.

even the worst is, I don't know what my dreams are and why I should stand for my dreams.

for your information, when I was in Russia, I had a friend who inspired me alot. he could do say anything for letting his friend's spirit up, he never wanted his friend become low-confidence person due to only their thought. and you know, he never complaint if he didn't get what he wants or he needs. maybe he felt that it hurts, but he didn't say it to anyone, because he believe that he could handle this thing and make his life turns around for the good reason. so much different with myself.

and for this 2 months, I am devastated. for thinking what I want to do for 1 year ahead that will give big effect to myself, my family, my study, my society, and people who I should be responsible with. people who will put myself for believing, for dreaming that they will reach their goals with me, in this platform.

but the worst thing is, I don't believe, and I'm not dreaming.

behind 2 months that I couldn't dreaming, I don't know why I believe in something that will happened in the middle of my journey. And I proved it to myself. I believe that in the end, my friend that I knew in Russia will show himself and will be the greatest man who cheer me up. it's a lil bit late maybe, but there's no "late" in my life. and indirectly, I proved of what I'm thinking of. I believe he will show off, cheer me up, and wake me up from this fear. And it comes from my t.h.o.u.g.h.t

you know what I mean? you know what I'm thinking about?
what did I think?

It comes true

sometimes, what I need in last 3 years
is just being a friend with nature
to be f.r.e.e
forget all the shit things in this town
to see the sky
to feel the wind
and start to dreaming

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